Today marks two years since my sister heard the words confirming that Joshua has Autism. Here is a little insight into Joshua's World from an aunt's perspective:
12/18/14
Joshua's World
About a month ago I was talking to someone at work. I said something about my comment was misunderstood. I do not at all remember what I said, but in order to understand my comment the fact that Joshua has Autism was necessary. I then said, "it's his world, we're just living in it." The nurse I was talking to responded with more insight than I had at that moment. I said the comment offhandedly. Believing it. But not expecting her to understand. She said that "of course we live in his world. If he tried to live in ours it would be completely scary and overwhelming." I thought about that comment a lot. And honestly it still hits me at times.
Joshua cannot live in my world. He would not be able to handle it. So, because I'm the adult and I love him, I venture into his world when we are together. This is not easy if you think it sounds that way.
Probably a week after this conversation took place, Joshua was at my house, as he often is, and we were hanging out. Joshua came and asked me to put on a show. For those of you with little to no experience with verbally delayed children the exact sentence used was "show." Because Joshua has made progress and improved with his communication and speech, I asked what show he wanted to watch. He said "mas," which translates to Thomas and Friends. I sat in the chair with this little guy, who I love so much it hurts sometimes, and literally tried every Thomas on Netflix. None of those were the right Thomas. So, because his favorite Thomas was no longer on Netflix, I bought it on Amazon Instant Video and tried it. Again, it was not the right Thomas. I tried Dinosaur Train and VeggieTales and then all of the Thomas' again. None of these were the right "show." Joshua was, as you can imagine, not pleased. He was trying his hardest to communicate and I could not understand.
We were in different worlds.
I had to find a way to join him in his world, because his attempt to come into mine was unsuccessful. His attempts to communicate and express himself failed and he was not able to cope with this. I used the holy grail for my nephew, singing. I sang and sang and sang until he calmed down and was able to accept that his "show" was not going to be found that night. He hung out with me in my chair for a while and then went on his way until his mom came to pick him up.
I had to venture into his world because I love him and want what's best for him. While on this adventure, I was also not pleased. I was upset and frustrated that we could not communicate with each other. I was angry that Autism was not allowing Joshua to live in my world. And then, I was angry at myself for being angry at Autism. Because Autism is a part of Joshua and I do not want to be angry at part of this little guy I love. I also felt guilt. What right do I have to be angry when Joshua lives everyday with the struggle to communicate and cope with life's simplest tasks? What right do I have to feel this way when I do not live this everyday like my sister and brother-in-law?
When my sister and Joshua went home that night was when I felt the worst. I felt relief. Relief that I am not the one tasked with these challenges on a daily basis. With that relief came more guilt. And more questions. How can I best help Joshua? How can I best help my sister? My brother-in-law? I have no solutions. I have no answers. What I have to give is my support. What I have to give is my ability to listen without judgement and with love. What I have to give is my love. Which does not ways seem like enough.
A couple of years ago I was at a conference conducted by my church. A woman I have come to know and respect said this, "God does give us more than we can handle because then we have no other choice but to lean on Him." I have never forgotten these words and I have repeated them to others as I felt appropriate. I may not be able to handle it, but God can. That is the hope I have. That is the truth I cling to.
I do not understand the difficulty in my sister's house. I cannot understand the struggle Joshua has. I was not chosen for these tasks. I was given a different role. A supporting role. At times, it does not feel like enough. At times, it feels like I have been cast perfectly. In every situation, find your role and fulfill that to the best of your ability. You never know the affect you have on someone's day. Someone's life. Do not take your role lightly
Joshua has been over many many more times and nothing like this has happened again. I hope it does not. However, if it does, I will try to remember Who to lean on and find a way to venture once more into Joshua's world.
12/31
I ventured into Joshua's world again today as I do often. This time he was patient with me. He turned the tv on and asked to watch "Mater" - which is Mater's tall tales. Yay! I know this one. Then, he started asking for "cat" - I thought this might be one of his sigh word videos that he loves so much. I held them up to them and asked which DVD is was. He pushed both of them away and gave me a look. If you know Joshua, his looks say a million words. It was neither of those videos - message received. I tried again and asked about Cars 2 or "triple speed," again the DVD was pushed away. Wrong again I sat down because he was not upset and he kept saying "cat." Joshua then took pity on me and came and took my hand. This is what he does when he wants to lead you to what he wants. He took me to the kitchen and I finally got it. He wasn't saying "cat" he was saying "ghet" which is his word for spaghetti. Eureka! We warmed up the bag of emergency spaghetti I had in my freezer and then ate a little Italian for dinner. This venture into Joshua's world was successful. He helped me along; he was the best naked tour guide someone could ask for, and We were able to meet in the middle. Days like this Joshua's world isn't so mysterious.
accidental ramblings
Monday, January 5, 2015
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Heart to Heart
I just wrote this. A loving confrontation. Let me know what you think!
"I know something is wrong. It is your choice if, when, and to whom you disclose that information. I understand that. I also understand that you have been on your own for a long time. As much as Henry tried, a big brother is not a substitute for a mother or father. Especially when he was alone and raising a child by himself. I know that you were like PJ's mom, and that you still take that role when you are with your family. You are one of the most independent people I know. Life has forced that upon you and it has helped you develop into the amazing and beautiful person you are today. It is because I know this that I understand you do not let people in. Henry and I have been the exceptions, but we are not under any illusions. We realize that there are times when you do not tell us things because you think we need protecting. That is part of your amazing personality. To protect those you love. I would not want you to change anything about yourself. If you did, you wouldn't be you, my girl next door. However, there are some things you need to understand. You are not alone. You do not have to handle any situation or struggle alone. I am here. I have always been here. I plan to be here, forever. You are running right now. I don't know what you are running from, but I know you are running. I know this because I have seen you do it before. I have talked you out of it and I have watched you struggle to let me help you. This," he motioned to himself then to her, "is not going away. You are not pushing me anywhere. I will be here. With or without your consent or permission. That is my choice. I will run behind you until you decide to let me catch up. If you want to run, I accept that. It is your choice. But sweetheart, you have another choice. Let me run with you. I will be there, I can run beside you if you let me. Just know this: I will not be waiting patiently for you. I will be running behind you or beside you. Until you realize you are not alone."
Friday, June 22, 2012
Dem Chapter 1
I brought the covers over my head. Hoping somehow that I could become invisible. The door handle turned...
Sitting straight up in bed, I look around and realize that it was a dream, a nightmare. They would be so happy. All they wanted was for me to remember. All I want to do is forget.
As the door of my room opens, I realize that I not only woke up scared, I woke up screaming. James walks in quietly. James, the only person who hasn't pushed me to talk; the only one who lets me be me. He sits on the edge of the bed. This is the closest he ever gets. James understands me.
"Nightmare?" he asks.
I just nod my head. James knows not to expect any more than that.
"Want to read or watch TV for a while?" He asks this because he knows that sometimes escape from my own mind is necessary.
I shake my head as I look at the clock in my room. What I need is to talk to Charlie, the one who can reassure me after my nightmare. James looks where I look, this is how he gets inside my head since I have no words.
"It's 2:00 am." That's all he says. He wants to know how important the call is.
I nod my head again. James picks up the phone. It seems to take forever for her to answer.
"Hey. It's me. I know it's late, but is it possible for Dem to talk to Charlie?"
I watch as James talks for me. He explains that I had a nightmare. Luckily, Charlie lives with James' best friend Sky and Sky is very understanding. James smiles and hands me the phone. Charlie knows she won't hear my voice tonight. That is not what's important.
"Dem?" she sounds tired and I feel guilty for waking everyone up. If only I could stop the nightmares. I tap the phone so she knows I am listening. This is our code. Codes are how I communicate. "I'm sorry you had a nightmare. Maybe we can see each other tomorrow. And spend a day together. That would help wouldn't it?" I tap again. "Dem, I'm alright. Today Sky took me to the bookstore after school. I got to buy 3 new books! I bought 2 for me and one for you. I'll bring it tomorrow ok?" Another tap. My eyes start to fill with tears. I love her so much. She is my heart. James sees my tears and decides to end the conversation. I agree so I don't resist when he takes the phone back.
"Hey Charlie. Tell Sky I'll call tomorrow to work out the details." He smiles. "I know. Love you too."
James looks at me as he puts the phone in his pocket. I see tenderness, love, and understanding. That is why I let him closer than anyone else. The understanding. That is what I need most.
"Think you can sleep now?"
I nod my head slowly. I hope so. I hope no more nightmares interrupt my night or his.
"Night." With that he leaves. James never says good night or sweet dreams. He knows that my nights are not good and my dreams never sweet. He understands.
I close my eyes and push the bad thoughts away. I recite the facts that I know will calm me and I hope they will ward off any more dreams for tonight.
Charlie is fine.
Charlie is with Sky.
I am with James.
No one can hurt me here.
I will see Charlie tomorrow.
I will see Charlie tomorrow.
I will see Charlie tomorrow.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
CHAPTER 4
Hailey and Jesse smiled after Taylor explained herself. “You
are totally fine,” Hailey said reassuringly, “We understand why you didn’t tell
us. It is not a big deal.”
“I know. But I feel bad now that your name has been put into
the circus.” Taylor looked upset.
Jesse decided to step in. “You are in an impossible
situation. Trying to protect yourself and trying to protect everyone else.
Someone is going to get hit. It just happened to be you. And that is because
you are the one that won’t tell. There is nothing the media loves more than a
scandal, and your refusal to tell them anything makes them curious. Most people
know that none of the rumors are true, but there are the few that will eat it
up…so they still print it.” He smiled. “You are one of the strongest people I
know. You have been through so much that the world doesn’t know about. You can
handle this and anything else they throw at you. And you do not need to worry
about us.” He looked at Hailey.
Hailey smiled at him,
“We have news too, and it’s good.” She looked nervous.
Taylor raised her eyebrows in anticipation. “Okay, my
curiosity is peaked.”
“We are getting married!” Hailey said excitedly. “I’m really
sorry you are finding out now, after you have had such a hard week, but I want
you to be my maid of honor.”
Taylor jumped up and went to hug Hailey and Jesse. They both
smiled. No matter what they should have known Taylor would be happy for them,
that’s the kind of person she was. Always giving, always thinking of others.
Most of the time this was a good thing. However, Jesse couldn’t help but think
it might hurt her in the near future. Taylor was the strong one for the people
in her life, she needed someone to be strong for her; everyone leaned on her.
She needed someone to be her strong person.
“YAY! Of course, I will be your maid of honor. It is so
exciting! We have to start planning.”
Hailey’s smile changed, “Well, we already planned most of
it.” She looked at Jesse, “We agreed that we wanted it to be a short engagement
and a small ceremony. That way there is less chance of anyone leaking it.” She
took a deep breath, “So, we are going to have the wedding in two weeks. We have
everything we need; the place, the food, the license, the wedding party, family
and friends.”
Taylor’s eyes widened. She couldn’t believe it was happening
so fast. “Wow…I can’t believe it’s so soon. Let’s go over the details please. I
want to be caught up on everything, starting with the proposal.”
Taylor, Hailey, and Jesse talked for over two hours about
the proposal, the wedding, Taylor’s life, and what possible solutions there
could be. Taylor loved her best friends and could not ask for better people in
her life. She was so happy for them, but in her heart she felt jealousy and a
little resentment. Her life was not going as well. The media was speculating on
her private life for the entire world to see, Jake was out of the country
working, and Henry and PJ were in Tennessee at home. She wanted to go to sleep
and have it all be a bad dream. Unfortunately, as she locked up after Hailey
and Jesse left, Taylor knew this would not happen. She sighed and went to her
room to get ready for bed.
As she got dressed the next morning she took time to pray.
She knew she could not make it through without Him. “Lord, I don’t know what
today will hold. But please let me handle it the way You want me to.” Her voice
broke. “I think I am doing the right thing. Please let me know if I am wrong.”
After breakfast Taylor talked to Jake and Henry to assure
them she was fine. Neither one of them believed her, she knew this, but they
both knew that she could handle herself and Jake knew that it was her decision
not to tell where she was on vacation. Henry had a different opinion.
“Tay, you need to tell them you were at home. No one will
think anything of it.”
“Henry, no. We’ve talked about this. It would be different
if I had planned the trip. The fact that I left so suddenly is the main
problem, not the location. If I tell that I was home, they will start poking
around to see why the visit couldn’t have waited. You were strong for me. Let
me be strong for you. Please.”
Henry knew that tone. He knew that Taylor was not going to
change her mind. And he also knew it was her decision to keep his secret; even
though he did not totally agree. He sighed, “Okay, on a different note. I have
decided that I will take you up on your offer. PJ and I will move to LA and
live with you. I have it all worked out, we will be there in a month.”
Taylor jumped out of her chair and did a little dance,
“Seriously?! Yes!”
Henry smiled; he knew this would be her reaction. “So, go
buy that house you’ve been looking at and get settled before our bachelor ways
and craziness invade.”
Taylor laughed, she knew it would be an adjustment, but it
would be so nice to have Henry and PJ so close after being apart for so long.
“Will do. I have got to go start making arrangements. Talk to you soon! And
love you!”
Taylor hung up the phone before Henry could say good-bye. She
immediately went and called the real-estate agent she had talked with before.
As she sat down at her desk after the call, she thought back to the last time
she and Henry had lived together, and how she would be strong for him and PJ
because Henry had always been strong for her.
SEVEN YEARS EARLIER
Taylor sat and watched as her parents were lowered into the
ground. Dry eyed she sat as the flag was handed to Henry. Sixteen was too young
to lose her parents. Her mother wouldn’t be there to help her get ready for her
first date or prom. Her father wouldn’t be there to teach her to drive or walk
her down the aisle at her wedding. It was not supposed to happen this way. Life
was not fair. Taylor thought about PJ and how at one, he wouldn’t even remember
his grandparents. She thought about Henry, who had lost his birthmother at
five, now he had lost his mother of eighteen years and his father.
Suddenly Henry took her arm. The funeral was over. Taylor
wasn’t sure how much time had passed, or what exactly had happened during the
service. She felt like she was in a daze.
“Honey, it’s time to go back to the house.” Henry said
gently as he led her to the car.
“Okay.”
“It will be alright. Somehow. I promise.”
Taylor looked up at him in his uniform. So like their father
is made her heart ache. She looked at her own skin. Henry’s mother had been
African while her mother was Caucasian, so the pallor cause by stress, anxiety,
sadness, and every other emotion possible made her white skin look even paler
next to his. She looked back at the graves that help her parents’ bodies, took
a deep breath, and prayed for strength.
“I know. We will make it through. Somehow.” She gathered all
of the courage she could and smiled up at her brother.
They went back to the house and sat while people gathered
and gave their condolences once more. Taylor was exhausted by the time the last
mourner left. Then the door rang. Thinking that there was no way she could
handle this, she looked for Henry, when she saw that he was busy with PJ, she
knew she would have to face the person at the door.
Taylor opened the door prepared to force a smile and ‘thank
you,’ when she got the best surprise of the day, Jake. Jake smiled and took her
into his arms; Taylor burst into tears and cried on his shoulder.
FIVE YEARS EARLIER
Taylor stood holding a tired and confused PJ as she waved
one last time to her brother. He was being deployed to some far away land and
she was now in charge. At eighteen this was not easy, or normal. She looked
around at the families there to say good-bye to their service members and once
again wondered how anyone could walk away from a husband and child because of
the military lifestyle. PJ’s mother had done this very thing when he was six
months old and Henry had been set to deploy. PJ had come to live with Taylor
and her parents for the duration of the deployment. Then the accident had
occurred and Henry had been granted emergency leave. He had been home with them
on base for almost two years. It was a blessing he hadn’t been deployed sooner.
Henry was the strong one. Taylor went back to the house and put PJ down for a
nap. She looked around the house and thought about how much it would take to
run a house and thanked her Lord that she had taken extra classes and graduated
early, so she didn’t have school to manage as well.
She heard a knock at the door. She had no idea who would be
coming by so she had no expectations when she opened the door. Jake’s smiling
face greeted her and she squealed as she shut the door behind her so they
wouldn’t wake PJ.
“What are you doing here?” Taylor asked. “You are supposed
to be working.”
“We finished early and I don’t start my next project for
three weeks. So I thought I would visit my best friend. Plus, I knew you could
use me since Henry left today.”
Taylor was confused. She never told Jake a specific date for
Henry’s departure. She hadn’t known until a couple of days ago herself. “How
did you know?”
Jake smiled, “Henry. We talked about me coming while he was
away to help and visit. I just wasn’t sure I would be able to with my schedule.
But we finished and here I am…for three weeks! We haven’t spent that much time
together since I moved to LA.”
“I know! This is great.”
PRESENT DAY
As Taylor stepped out of her memories, she was more
determined than ever to protect her family, including Jake. Henry and Jake had been there through the
hardest moments of her life when her parents died. Jake had been there when
Henry deployed. They had both been there when she moved to LA for college. And
Jake had helped her find the role that made her famous. ‘Yes.’ She thought. I
can do this. I will not let them be dragged through this. I will be strong for
them.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
Taylor made it through the final day of work on the season
finale. As she sat down in her trailer, her entire body hurt from the tension
she had carried all day. Dodging questions about the article, avoiding calls to
the set from reporters, and finally walking through the crowd of reporters and
paparazzi trying to get a picture or comment from her had drained the last drop
of energy she had left.
Taylor was ready to be home. She thought about the dinner
sitting in her passenger seat that she had picked up from her favorite Mexican
restaurant and smiled. At least she could have a quiet and peaceful dinner. Her
good mood was increasing as she mentally picked out which movie she would watch
during dinner. That good mood was shattered as soon as she could see the entrance
to her apartment building; it was filled with reporters. How had they found
her? Three years of being on TV and in movies and they had never found her!
Someone must have tipped them off. This was NOT a good thing.
The only bright spot Taylor saw was Joel, her
doorman/security guard. With a sigh of relief she sent up a prayer of thanks
that he was on duty tonight. Joel and his family had taken Taylor in when she
first arrived. They were very close. Taylor even thought of his daughter Kim as
a sister. Joel had called in backup. Normally there was one security guard,
tonight she counted four. Four guards trying to make a path for her to drive
through. It took a couple of minutes, but finally there as a path. Taylor
parked and took a deep breath as she grabbed her stuff and opened the door.
Joel was there; ready to shield her as much as possible. Taylor knew that she
had to say something; she had to express her feelings, even if she was not
going to answer the reporters’ one burning question.
“Joel, it’s ok. I am going to talk to them. Just stay
close.”
Joel looked skeptical, “Ok, if that’s what you want.”
“Apparently what I want is no longer being considered.”
Taylor handed her backpack and food to Drew, another security guard that happened
to be Joel’s nephew. Then she turned to address the crowd. “Hey guys, I would
like to say that since I have been here, no reporter has ever come to my
apartment and it is not appreciated.” She tried to continue, but no one was
listening because everyone was trying to ask questions. “HEY!” Everyone got
quiet. Taylor Robertson was mild mannered and polite; she did not yell. “A
press statement has been released. However, apparently it was not to your
satisfaction, so I will answer three questions…three. So ask wisely.” She
looked out in the crowd and pointed. “You.”
The girl looked startled. She had not expected to be chosen,
which is exactly why Taylor had chosen her. She was young and Taylor could tell
she was a novice. Maybe this would help her career. Even in with the stress,
frustration, and annoyance, Taylor was still trying to help someone else.
“Me? Ummm…okay.” The girl eyes were wide and Taylor saw her
swallow. “The statement said you were at an undisclosed location and that you
had no intention of disclosure anytime soon. Why have you chosen not to say
where you were? Especially considering the reaction.”
Taylor smiled. The girl had guts, and she hadn’t asked where
she had gone, which gave her a point in Taylor’s book. “What is your name?”
“Amanda.”
“Okay Amanda, thank you for your question. I have chosen not
to say where I was because I believe it is my business and no one else’s. I do
not think that the public needs to know where I am all the time. I take my
privacy very seriously and I wish that everyone understood that.”
“Thank you.” Amanda said writing furiously in her notebook.
“Question #2: You” Taylor picked a veteran this time.
Someone that she had seen on many occasions.
“Yes. Miss Robertson, I would like to know why you have
chosen not to tell anyone. Sources have reported that not even your best friend
Hailey Lewis knows where you went.”
Taylor was no longer smiling. She knew Hailey wouldn’t have
shared this information so the source had to be someone on the show. And she
had an idea of who it was. She could have screamed, but she was a professional,
so she answered the question with a straight face, none of the reporters knew
anything was wrong. “I would like to know who your source is. And I will not
confirm or deny what Hailey does or doesn’t know. That is between us. I will
say that you are wrong in the belief that no one knows where I went. It is just
that very few people know.” He vet reporter did not like her answer, too bad.
Taylor picked her last questions, “You.”
The woman smiled, she was happy to be chosen. “Okay. I would
like to ask a question that may seem obvious. Any of the rumors of where you
went true?”
“No. None of the rumors that I have heard are true. I did
not have an abortion. I have never done drugs. I took one drink on my 21st
birthday just because and I have not had any alcohol since. And I do not have
an eating disorder. Unless you count not eating due to impromptu press
conferences.” She pointed to her now cold dinner and smiled.
A couple of the reporters laughed with her. “That is all I
have. I am going to my apartment now.”
“Thank you” was expressed by several of the reporters.
Joel and Drew walked her to the door and went in with her.
“Are you okay?” Joel asked in his fatherly tone.
Taylor smiled. “It was the perfect end to today. But yes I
am okay. And I am going to go to my apartment, eat, watch tv, and not think
about it until I wake up.”
Drew joined the conversation with a compliment. “You’re
tough I will give you that. And you handled yourself very well.”
“Thanks.”
Joel got back to business, “We are going to have two guards
on duty as long as this,” he pointed to the door, “continues. I have asked that
either Drew or I are here most of the time. Since we know you the best.”
Taylor was touched. It was true that she was more
comfortable with Joel and Drew. Joel because he had taken over as her protector
when she moved in and Drew because he had taken up right where his uncle had,
as protector. They had both been working at the complex since before she moved
in, so they had known her before she was ‘somebody.’ Joel had taken her in as
family, she was invited to his house for dinner at least once a week and Taylor
had become a big sister to Kimberly, Joel’s only daughter. Drew reminded her of
her brother; early 30’s, veteran, and humorous even in tough situations. Joel,
Drew, and Kimberly were Taylor’s Hollywood family – totally unexpected and
absolutely welcome.
“Thanks guys. I appreciate it. Hopefully it won’t last long.
Or I will have to come up with a new plan. Good night.”
“Night.”
“Night.”
Finally Taylor was alone. She was so ready for this part of
the day. The part where she wasn’t Taylor Robertson. The part where she was
just Taylor, a girl from Memphis. She knew though that she owed Hailey an
explanation. She deserved to be told. So she picked up the phone and called her
best friend.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Chapter 2 part 2
“Taylor. Taylor. You’re cell phone is going straight to voicemail. I don’t know if you have work today. I just saw the article online. Call me as soon as you can.” Taylor listened as her brother left the message. She couldn’t talk to him right now. She knew Henry would insist that she tell the truth about where she had been. And there was no way she could do that. Maybe in the future, but not now. Determined, she got up to finish getting ready for work. Taylor knew there was no way this reporter could verify that she had been at any of the locations mentioned, because she hadn’t been. Only two other people knew where she had been, Jake and Henry, and neither of those people would tell anyone.
On her way to work two hours later, Taylor finally returned her brother’s call.
“What up?” Taylor smiled at the greeting.
“Hey PJ. Why aren’t you at school?” Taylor asked her four year old nephew.
“I don’t have school today. It’s Thursday.” Taylor almost laughed at his incredulous tone. He couldn’t believe that she thought he should be at school.
“Sorry honey. I forgot what day it was. What are you guys doing today? Anything fun planned?” Taylor tried not to let him know she was amused.
“No big plans. Daddy is tired. So we are watching movies and ordering pizza for lunch.” PJ said with enthusiasm. He thought a full day with his dad, movies, and pizza was a party. Taylor knew better.
“That sounds super fun! Can I talk to him for a minute?”
“Totally! Talk to you later.”
Taylor smiled, only PJ could make her smile today, “Definitely. Love you.”
“Love you too.” She heard the phone transferring to her brother and she held her breath, preparing for his voice.
“Hey baby girl.” Taylor teared up at when she heard the endearment.
“Hey big brother. How are you feeling today?”
“I’m okay. Just tired. I promise. Do not worry about me…that is an order.” Henry said firmly.
“You and PJ are my only family. I am going to worry. At least a little bit.”
Henry laughed.
“Hey, at least I’m honest.” Taylor teased back, easing the tension. She couldn’t cry while she was driving.
“I’m honest too. Remember, I taught you that trait. I really am okay. I called to see how you were. I saw the article online this morning.”
“I saw it too. I was shocked at first and angry.” Taylor sighed. “I moved past that already. I accepted it. I knew eventually something bad would have to circulate about me. They can substantiate anything. All they have is rumors. I can live with that.”
Henry took a breath and shook his head in an attempt to clear it. “You can tell them where you were. Tell them you were at home.”
“No. That will only raise the question of why I had to leave so suddenly. I am not bringing you and PJ into this. I promised myself I wouldn’t let my fame affect you guys. And I keep my promises.” Taylor stood firm.
Henry heard the tone his baby sister used. He knew she wasn’t going to budge on the subject. Not now. Maybe not ever.
“Okay. You do what you think is best. But promise to call me if you need anything.”
“I promise. And just so you know Jake promised to call me every day to check in. So you don’t have to worry so much.”
Henry smiled, “I know what he promised. We are backing each other up on this one. It is definitely a project that needs both of our attentions.”
Taylor pulled into her spot and put her car in park. “I should have known you two would tag team me…at least I know I’m loved.”
“Yes. You are by us and millions of people.” Henry wanted to end the conversation on a light note.
Taylor rolled her eyes, “Whatever. I just got to work. I will talk to you soon.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Taylor Chapter 2 part 1
CHAPTER 2
Taylor woke up with a headache. No surprise since she went to bed with one.
She got up, put her robe on, and went to get some more medicine. As she passed her computer she turned it one so she could check her email.
As she sat down at the computer she swallowed the two blue pills and half the glass of water. Nothing important in her email, so she decided to get ready for work. Today was the review of the episode. Making sure everything had turned out.
As she signed out of her account and swiveled her chair to get up something on the screen caught her eye. It was a picture of her. With a caption that read “Taylor Robertson disappeared to drug rehab: sources report.” Eyes wide, she clicked on the story.
“Sources report a change in TV’s ‘Girl Next Door’ Taylor Robertson. Reports from an inside source say that Robertson has lost weight, is irritable, and that she has uncharacteristic circles under her eyes. Considering that Robertson has a reputation of getting along with everyone and is known for her flawless complexion and skin tone, this reporter is looking into the allegations of drug use, eating disorders, and pregnancy. Any of these would ruin the reputations that Robertson has earned as a good girl and possibly reduce the number of parents who allow their pre-teens to watch her shows and movies.
With these rumors are allegations of how they relate to Robertson’s sudden two week vacation, taken in the middle of filming the season finale. It has been reported that no one knows where the actress went or why her departure was so sudden. Sightings of the actress have been called in by several different sources. Locations include a drug rehab center, an eating disorder counselor, and possibly near an abortion clinic. The last sighting would be the worst for the young actress’ career.
Look for updates on this story as more information is being gathered and reported by the hour.”
Taylor couldn’t believe it. She had never had rumors circulate about her, at least not vicious rumors, rumors that had the potential to destroy her reputation and affect her jobs. She sat motionless, jumping slightly when her home phone started ringing. She didn’t attempt to answer. Only a dozen people had her home number and only two used it. She knew it would be her brother.
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